some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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