she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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