i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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