so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
You did what with his pubic hair?
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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