Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Even the bartender felt bad for me
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Omg I joined a choir last night...
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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