How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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