I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Randomize