I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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