So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
