i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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