I must be too annoying 4 u.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Randomize
