is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
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