with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
