He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
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I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
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We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize