she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
