I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Is that strawberry winking at me??
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
