the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
