I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
organizing the empties. That sober.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Randomize
