he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
