i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
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