Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
