who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
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