The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize