Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
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