I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
