carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
