Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
