Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize