Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
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