I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
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