So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
