Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Pooping to opera.
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