What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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