flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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