Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize
