I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
