Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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