I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
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Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
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Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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