When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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