she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Sorry my hands just texted you
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
