yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I'm sobbing to NWA
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Randomize
