but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
