Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
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