Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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