I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
