So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
