U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
