Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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