She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
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we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
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It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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