yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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