I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
