Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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