A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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