the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Randomize
