Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Randomize
