just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
