you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jger and an empty bed here Friday.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize