She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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