I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
