my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Randomize
